single forever.
i’ve never been so sprung over a woman before. i usually get over girls in a month, two months tops. but it’s been five since you went back to him and i still want you. after everything, i doubt you’d even take me back. atleast, that’s how i see it.
we barely even talk now. and that shit sucks. a lot. you’re the only thing that ever really makes me happy. but fuck it. you don’t care anymore. i can how i’ve become less and less important to you.
i’m in love with you. don’t you see that? i guess not.
just like you said, i’ll get over you and us. what ever we were.
sometimes you’re like the only thing that makes me happy all day. i could be having a shitty day, say hi to you, and i just brighten up.
fuck.
i think about us, a lot. and it sucks.
you make me so fucking happy and at the same time so fucking sad.
remember when we were happy? when i made you smile, and you made me smile?
everytime we hug and i kiss you on the cheek, or you kiss me on the cheek, i’m just so fucking happy. and then i let go, and you walk away and i just feel like shit again.
and then i smoke. i smoke to get away from my feelings. and it works wonders. for those moments while i’m high, you are nowhere in my mind. and then i start to come down, and i just feel even worse about us.
i guess i’m too in touch with my emotions. although i’d rather not, i got no problem at all crying in front of my friends. i get ready to cry in front of them, over you, a lot. but i don’t when i cry, i feel weak. and i don’t want people seeing me weak.
fuck..
But I just love forgetting about you, my father, and all the other drama in my live when I’m high. Or faded, or leaned out.
What I really hate is when I’m coming down. When my high burns out, and all I think of is you. And I feel 100 times worse than before.
for being such an emotional little bitch. i hate when my friends ask me whats wrong, or why im down, or why my eyes are so watery.
omfg.
Kiel, Mike, Rico?
one OD’d, the other had a stroke, and one was shot.
it makes me think that it’s like a fucking warning.
while i’m sitting here snorting, drinking, and smoking all this shit, i could pass out.
just die.
or i could fuck someone over and get shot or stabbed and shit.
frightening, but for some reason i still go back to these drugs just to clear my mind.
No, I’m in love with you. But I doubt how I feel really matters.
I’m never gonna forget the day in school where these pretty girl was gonna ask me out, and a couple minutes before she came up and told me anything, you said me that stupid text.
” I love you. “
Boy did that text fuck me over. I denied this pretty ass girl to go for you. You even told me that you ” lust him ” and ” love me. “
I wonder if you lied about that.
Everyone says you aren’t the prettiest girl, nor the most perfect girl.
But for some reason you’re what I see as the definition of beautiful, you were perfect to me. The moment I looked at you, no matter how good looking the girls around you were, they just looked ugly. And you were all I wanted to look at.
And then that kiss on the last day of school. It wasn’t much, I know. Just a three second kiss and a smile.
But that shit made me so happy it was unbelievable.
But now here we are. We don’t even talk to each other. You don’t look at me when you walk by and I hate that shit.
Every single time I look at you, I fall for you, more and more, and it sucks.
I just really wonder if I’m on your mind as much as you are on mine these days. I even dream about you a lot now.
Fuck.
